The men in my little family seem to be cursed with a startling neurosis...they talk...nay...they become psychotic weirdos in their sleep.
I learned this truth early in my marriage, as I was awakened many a wee hour to the sight of my dear husband standing in the center of our bed, swatting furiously at the air. When pressed until he could complete a coherent sentence, Steve admitted he had been dreaming about giant spiders. This still occasionally happens.
One particular evening, I had this enlightening conversation with his subconscious:
STEVE: (waggling my arm and shoving me toward the edge of the bed) Will you just MOVE?
ME: Um, what is your problem?
STEVE: I'll tell you what my problem is. I don't know why this is so difficult for you to understand. Look. You have a potato. Okay?
ME: Okay. Wait--I have a...huh?
STEVE: You have a potato. You cut it in half. WHAT DO YOU GET????
ME: Well...
STEVE: TWO HALVES OF A POTATO!!! Now get out of the way!
I just never know. Connor has been known to order snacks from his bed at 3am ("Baloney and cheese!!") and on occasion, he has run into our room howling, claiming his sister is eating batteries or his dresser drawers are flying around in his room.
So this evening at ten till six, I awoke from peaceful slumber as I was being pummeled with elbows and arms. I believe it took me a full three minutes to gain my senses and realize I was not being murdered. Steve was having a nightmare that our daughter was in danger. I can hardly blame him for flailing. We'll give him that one.
The capper came this afternoon, when our darling son rose from his naptime, shuffled into the living room, and promptly urinated in the wastebasket beside the coffee table, as though he did that every day.
The beat goes on. Could I sleep at your house?
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4 comments:
Okay, this had me rolling......it reminds me of my own husband......although he just talks, no standing or swatting! Now my son, we he is known to laugh hysterically in his sleep! Wow, but peeing in the waste basket.......now that is funny!
(sorry about the first comment)
My husband does the same thing! Just the other night he made some interesting comments in his sleep about a friend. I pressed him about it the next morning. I said, "Were you talking about C.?" He was like all, "What?" He had no idea what he was saying. It was hilarious! He even once told me that a loaf of bread cost $9000! Too funny!
~Meredith
That is too funny! I have said some strange things in my sleep as well.
you are welcome...those boys ARE NOT!!!
xoxo
cyndi
i bet steve LOVES this post! lol
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