No! No! I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!

First blog of the new year!

The fam's still in recovery mode after a wildly successful, mildly overtraveled, loot-packed Christmas at Aunt Everybody's house and beyond. Am I glad it's over. Now what are we going to do with all this junk?

This year was Connor's first foray into the magical world of an American childhood Christmas. Sure, it's his third Christmas, technically, but this year he started "getting it." He marveled at the twinkling lights, bounced around the house singing Connorized versions of carols ("...so be good for goodness STEAK!"), and rehearsed his interface with Santa Claus ad nauseum. He was positively irresistible. And we went all out. Of course, we had the standard "let's not go overboard this year" conversation. Still, somehow, glaring at the top of the crayon/construction paper "list" Mommy helped him scrawl out, was a three-hundred-dollar Power Wheels Gator he had spied and subsequently drooled over at a friend's house in November. That's what he wanted from Santa. That and Shrek III. That's it. Two items. One would cost a second mortgage, but essentially all the little monkey wanted was a yard toy and a DVD. So (many thanks to a particularly handsome Elf who muscled the monster into the Sedona, then dragged it into the basement, then went to work assembling a thousand plastic components and slapping on a half dozen goofy decals), at around 1 am, Santa's helpers surveyed the magnificent scene. A shiny motorized vehicle sat poised for action beside our tree, and tucked in its payload compartment was the third Shrek film. We were absolutely giddy imagining him coming downstairs in the morning to see it. Heck, if we'd been about a hundred twenty pounds lighter, we might have crammed ourselves behind the wheel and attempted a test spin.

Fast forward seven hours.

No. Fast forward about two weeks.

"Connor, how about let's watch your Shrek movie?"
"I don't wanna. I wanna watch A Bug's Life."
"Er, I think that one's missing."
Lie.
"Are you sure you don't want to see Shrek III?"
"No, I don't like that one."
"All righty. Connor, how about let's go outside and drive your Gator?"
"No, just sit in it."
"In the garage? You want to just sit in it and not drive?"
"Yes. And watch a movie."
"Baby, you haven't driven it once. You want to just sit in your Gator and watch a movie?"
"Uh huh."
"Any chance you want to watch Shrek III in your Gator?"
"Not that movie. I don't like it."

So.